day 164 : that time i {correctly?} stereotyped a girl on the bus

happy wednesday!
you guys, it was 43* here yesterday! its 14* now & they are saying we could get anywhere from 6 to 12 inches of snow tomorrow..
the snow is beautiful & when it melts, it will be great for the crops, land and lakes ; but right now, i think most of us in minnesota are ready for spring.

yesterday, i was on the bus and i had an 'experience.' im not sure it counts as a random act of kindness {i dont think it does} ; but i am going to count it, because this is my blog ;)

no pictures today, but i think its a story we can all relate to : 

i live in minneapolis ; no doubt, the most diverse city in minnesota. i am from small towns in both iowa & minnesota ; where both are seriously lacking in cultural experiences & education. i moved to a large city so i could have experiences in different cultures.
and while i live in minneapolis & see different faces, hear different languages, ect ; i am still pretty sheltered.
the neighborhood i live in, is one of the safest & wealthiest in the city. i dont know the actual figures, but i am guessing that 98% of the population in my neighborhood is upper-class white folks who own 2-3 cars and speak english.
there are parts of south minneapolis {my neighborhood is in south mpls} that are diverse {native american, hispanic, somali}, but my neighborhood is not.
when you cross over to the north side of minneapolis ; there are lots of assumptions and stereotypes that happen. a lot of folks think of the north side as rundown, dangerous and full of 'black kids in gangs.' the city has done a really great job of developing the south side ; bike trails, community gardens, lots of food co-ops, ect. but we still think of the north side as dirty, dangerous and run-down. there are a lot of organizations working to change that, but it will take years beyond that to reshape our thoughts and stereotypes.

so where does my story start? 
i was on the bus yesterday, coming home from a great meeting {hi marta!}
{side note : i love the bus. i would much rather be on the bike ; but i really enjoy our bus system}
i was sitting towards the back of the bus ; there was a guy sitting in the last row and i was a few seats away.
this young girl {16-ish?} comes flying over to him, shouting and making a fuss.
{a huge bus system that reaches all neighborhoods in the twin cities {500,000 people} ; there is always somebody yelling and making a fuss}
she sits down next to me, talking to him ; a little defensive, a little panicked.
she looks at me and says 'let me have your phone.' 
i shake my head and she rephrases, 'i need to use a phone for something.' 
i told her that i wouldnt give her my phone, but i could look something up for her.
we go back and forth and she says she needs to write her friend on facebook. {i am assuming she was writing her about where // when she would be off the bus}
i was super apprehensive to let her use my phone. finally, i gave it to her, but never let her out of my sight.

i have been replaying the encounter in my head a lot since i got off the bus {with my phone}
i consider myself pretty laid back & extremely liberal. i consider myself really open-minded and respectful of other cultures. but i grew up in communities where it is normal & accepted to be a little {a lot?} racist. i have heard hundreds of racist jokes and come from places where using the n-word isn't always followed by 'oh my gosh, that is not okay!'

i was well-aware that the girl appeared 'brash' and the guy she was talking to seemed 'thuggish.'
i was well-aware that i looked like a 'fancy white person, bussing to the rich neighborhood with a fancy-ass iphone.'
i was well-aware that i run a kindness movement and to share a story about my stereotypes // insecurities makes me seem like a jerk.
i was well-aware that 'apple picking' {a new scam where people ask to use your phones, assault you & steal your phone} has become a growing trend in minneapolis.
i was well-aware that i attempted to have empathy for this girl. she needed to get ahold of her friend and needed to use a phone. if i was in the situation, i would hope that someone would help me out.
i was well-aware that i 'took stock' of her face, features and what she was wearing, in case i had to make a police report.

so, what does this mean?
am i racist? {the kids are black, i am white}
am i an asshole?
was a i just being cautious?
would i have reacted the same way if the kids were asian, or somali or WHITE?
was i watching the girl like a hawk because i was afraid of her or because she held something of value?{i dont really care about the phone ; i care about the 1,700 photos on there}

whats the moral of this story?
i am not sure.
i would like to think that i am a nice person ; willing to help someone out when they need it.
i also think that while i am open-minded and consider myself pretty accepting, i have fears and stereotypes ; just like everybody else.
does it make me a bad person to be cautious?

i would love to hear any stories, thoughts or opinions you have.
has something like this happened to you? have you ever been in a situation where you have felt uncomfortable and realized that you have deep-rooted assumptions // stereotypes?