day 132 : {a vague post on fear, biopsies & doctors appointments}

happy tuesday, everybody!
i know that i run two blogs & am all over the internet ; but for the most part, i am a pretty private person.
when {deep} things happen, i really dont share them outside of my mom & blake. the internet makes me nervous when it comes to spilling deep stuff. i know that people post pictures of their kids, birth stories, ect ; but for me, i like to keep a distance between 'screen life' & 'real life.'
people understand that, right?

i have debated about posting this ; i have gone back & forth {and back and forth}
by the time you read this, i will be at the doctor getting some {scary} tests done.

one of my 'good deeds' for this project was to 'schedule a check-up // doctors appointment.' i consider myself to be in pretty decent health. i dont eat meat or dairy, i work out {complete races // rides}, i dont use chemicals in my life {clothes, body or home} & i am generally pretty active. i have lost two grandparents to cancer & have three family members {myself included} who have had scary 'you have abnormal cells & could develop cancer' conversations with doctors. so, while i work hard to take care of myself, i know that no one is immune from getting sick.

last week, i found a lump {i dont want to share any more than that ; because hello, this is the internet!} & i am pretty scared about it. it might be nothing. it might be something. as soon as i found it, i got on the horn to get in for a check-up.
that check-up is today.

as you are reading this, i dont know any more than you do.
any good vibes you want to send my way would be greatly appreciated. 

a lot of times, we think of 'good deeds' as only being big things that we do for others, but the truth is, simply taking a minute to focus on our own health is also an incredibly kind {and necessary!} thing!

see you tomorrow!